Free vacation! But it’s FREE!!

February 24, 2010

There is nothing nw under the sun.  We have all seen this one, in its many variations, and it invatiably starts with “I’ve got a great idea”.  The gist is:

A client would like to go on vacation, and he would like to take a lovely working companion with him.  Maybe to the Caymans, maybe on a cruise, perhaps to Rome.  But, you see, since the client will be paying so very much for the lady companion’s airfare, lodging, meals and expenses, he must insist upon a discount for her time.  Anything “free” or slightly higher will do.  This is, of course, pefectly logical seeing as she is getting a free vacation .  Right?

Gentlemen.  Let us be honest, one with the other.  There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you are not offering one now (although you are expecting one).  In truth, you are asking a lady to spend a week working for you.  A week in which she will be expected to provide her time and attention, devoted solely to you, in whatever measure you determine is “owed” to you.  Be frank; were this lady to spend her vacation lounging by the pool, seeing the nightlife, enjoying the fine cuisine or simply reading a book, as is her wont, with or without you by her side you would be mightily offended.  And why?  Because she is acting as if she is on vacation.  You expect her to work.  For a week.  With nothing to show for it but a tan she got whenever you decided she could have time to herself.

If you are flush and generous enough to send a lady on vacation without expectations, you’re a lovely soul and we all applaud your good nature.  When you want a lady to work for you, you must pay.  If you insist the lady do the work in Vegas then how she gets there is your problem, not hers.  She doesn’t owe you merely because you picked the venue.

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