Wherein everyone’s an idiot

March 14, 2010

Sigh.  It’s almost disheartening how easily and often I can find these instances wherein both parties need a good smacking and to be sent to their corners until they learn how to behave.

On the other hand, I’ll have no shortage of material for my blog.  Silver lining!

Dear Hot Mess,

Posting (in Co-Ed) that you can’t wait to leave Austin and you’ll never come back because one would-be hobbyist was rude to you is just goofy.  What were they supposed to do, apologize and promise to run him out of town on a rail?  Guarantee a hassle-free Austin for your touring convenience?  Just please, pretty please, come back and see us sometime?  Ridiculous.  When you blame the whole town for one man, don’t be surprised when the whole town snarls back.

You, missy, are not helping anyone.  And your posts make my brain hurt.

Dear “LOL, I’m rude, I RAWK!”,

You’re a twat.  Twelve year old girls can come up with better insults.  Congratulations for one of the bitchier posts in Co-Ed – perhaps we should have you tested for estrogen.  What is it that you do, exactly, which allows you to pay $250 an hour for a lady’s time and yet being only slightly more coherent than a fifth-grader is not a problem? 

I’m catagorizing you with the many other men who remain unable to comprehend that this board contains not just hobbyists, but many of the hottest nymphomaniacs in the nation.  And they’re reading your post, genius.  

Don’t cock-swing unless you want the ladies to see what you’ve got.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: No matter how cool your “bros” on a message board think you are, until the bros grow vaginas it isn’t going to get you laid.  Duh, twitterfuck.

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