Chevalier asks in a recent blog post:

  • On average, are P4P clients “worse” than men in general?
  • On average, are participants on review/discussion boards “worse” than P4P clients in general?
  • If so, it it because boards attract that kind of person or create that kind of person?
  • Is an alternative without the drawbacks, but still as a good target audience for the ladies’ advertising, feasible?

All remarkably good questions.  I’m devoting a blog to it as I’d suck up too much space in a comment.

Are hobbyists worse than men in general?  No, I don’t think so.  Like any cross-section of humanity, you’ll find some particularly scabby types, a few downright villainous characters, the odd touchy-sensitive crybaby. 

Most of my clientele are men aged 35-60, and are either sex addicts or starved for positive attention/playtime.  They’re not bad, they’re lonely.  I’m rather fond of many of them.

If anything, it’s possible that hobbyists are easier to deal with than civilian men.  The hobbyists will often know what they want and have no shame in communicating this to you, and discuss their needs freely (for men) to each other.  Whether they can translate these healthy habits over into their personal life is something I’ve never determined. 

Are male posters on hobby boards generally worse than hobbyists in general?  Yes.  God, yes.  In my (overstated) opinion, active board posters are emotionally needy men who seek out message boards for validation, not hobbying.  How emotionally needy correlates to how much they spam the board with their posts. 

Infrequent posters and lurkers are the true hobbiers.  They’re there to utilize the tools available to facilitate the hobby experience… and to make the occasional post on a thread that looks interesting, though this wasn’t the objective when they logged on.

Does the board attract or create the sort of poster found on their site?  Both.  A “hobbyist-friendly” board with a prediliction for spite and misogyny will attract more members like those already there.  Hobbyists found the board by looking for other hobbyists; those who aren’t hobbyists quickly go elsewhere.  Like seeks out like.

But, a man who squirmed at first upon seeing nasty words thrown about like confetti soon settles in.  When in Rome, and all that.  Parrot the views of your peers long enough and they will become your views as well, or near enough as to make no difference.

Is the creation of an alternative board possible?  Mamasan thinks anything is possible.  There’s certainly room enough on the web for more than one message board.  Perhaps more to the point is asking whether Eccie has what it takes to remain the only viable solution, which it is right now.  Mamasan doubts it.  The place is crumbling from within.  Ladies are walking out in rather alarming numbers, and some very quality ladies at that.  For all everyone loves to talk about “this board is for hobbyists” and “it’s about reviews for the guys”, we’ll have to see if they still maintain that the ladies are naught but mere afterthoughts on their boards when ladies become thin on the ground.

Thinner than they are already, I mean.

You can already find men posting on other sites that they are leaving Eccie because of the male attitude problems and the good women are jumping ship.  That is what Mamasan calls a “bad sign”.


And the minions swing into action with a quickness.  Good catch, Anonymous.  This one’s got it all: cross-gender hysterics, martyrdom, epic failure-to-get-it, and nice potential for flouncing off in a huff.  Brilliant.

Wherein a Houston ASPD moderator demonstrates that, of all the things he learned in years of moderating and hosting, the one thing he did not learn from the December social raid is that, “It’s okay, he’s with me” is still a bad idea.

To sum it up:

A male mod asks a question to which he didn’t really want an answer.  He gets one anyway.  Cue reply of, “FINE, well, if you just DON’T LOVE ME then I guess I’ll shut up.  I’m a MOD, but what do I know after YEARS of killing myself for you people.  *sniff*” which is extraordinary mostly for the fact he doesn’t realize he sounds like his wife.  First respondent and another mod tell him his butt looks fine in those jeans try to calm him down.  He climbs up on his cross and does a Jesus impersonation.

Wank, wank, wank.

Friendship with a mod does not count as a BCD reference.  I’m rather surprised this question was even posed.  No, let me clarify:  I’m surprised this question was posed by a long-time mod and experienced hobbyist.  Idiots and n00bs ask it all the time. 

No, we will not call your buddy because he’ll say you’re “cool”.  No, we will not accept another hobbyist at a social saying, “Oh, yeah, sure, he’s a great guy.”  Listen close, gents, and I’ll tell you why not.

We’re asking different things.

YOU are saying that he’s amusing and you’d buy him a beer.  We want to know how often he showers, is he respectful to women, is he punctual, what triggers his jimmy and the jimmy’s rough dimensions.

If you can speak from personal experience on all that – including the last two – then Mamasan will accept a reference from a male hobbyist and promises to be very discreet about your relationship with him.  Until then?  Wanker, please.  Not only am I eyeballing your posts as prime “emotionally high-maintenance” red flag material, Mamasan is also getting strong whiffs that you think you and your hobby pals ought to be outside the normal rules and SOP because you are “important”.  Seriously?  You post on the internet.  That doesn’t make you important.  Go cure male pattern baldness or something and then get back to me.