LOLwhut?!

March 27, 2010

HAY I HAZ GR8 IDEA!!!

What do you think this is, Costco?  Free samples.  I have now heard it all.

Side note: And what is this “dawg” shit?  Hobbying – it’s how pudgy middle-aged white men get to pretend they’re on MTV.

Jesus H. Christ.  Some people.

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There’s been a dearth of snark-worthy material lately.  Oh, there’s the usual dozen threads asking if ladies prefer hairy faces/balls over clean-shaven (giving the lie to the notion that there’s no such thing as a stupid question), some half-heartened complaints on both sides about discounts/free sessions for good reviews and the gratuitious “I’m a stud, look at meeeee!” stuff we see all the time.  Same shit, different day.

And then I find the motherlode of wank.  Literally.

Very long story cut short:  A guy (I won’t give him the term “hobbyist” as he’s got three reviews, all for >100 strip club fun) goes to a strip club and pays $200 to give himself a handjob.  Woe.  Is.  Him. 

Stupid bitch this, cunt that, skank ass blah blah blah, bitch, fat bitch, loser, stank ass, bitch, bitch, cunt.  This is everyone’s fault but mine.  Why are the girls ignoring me?  I’m a good-looking guy.  Just doesn’t make sense.  Maybe my youthful hot bod intimidated them.

The logic, it burns!  It burns like hygiene!  Seriously?  They won’t talk to you because you’re a pissy little twat, and a cheap fuck to boot.  You win the Justifying My Existence award for the week, young feller!

So, with jizz staining his jeans, Our Handsome Hero exits the club and has a philosophical moment. 

After this debacle I am not going to SC’s for extras anymore. Just isn’t worth it. I’m tired of trying to get to someplace at a certain time for the “early bird special”. I’m tired of the weird ass looks from dancers and staff when I get there and the only other guys in the place are retirees. I’m tired of the rushed feeling for something that should be enjoyed. I’m tired of the lack of intimacy. I’m tired of overpaying. I’m tired of all of the drinking before and after. I’m tired off all of the associated costs. I’m tired of always looking in the rear view for cops so I don’t get busted. This shit just isn’t fun. I really think that if I really need a release, and there aren’t any options on the bootie call list, I’ll just try out a provider or go to AMPs. I think it will be cheaper in the long run and I could probably enjoy myself. I know I’ll probably drink less overall.

Yes!,  Yes, my son, you are now getting it!  Isn’t it a wonderful moment?  The problem isn’t the strip club and isn’t the dancers, it is YOU.  You were expecting too much, for too little in return, from women whose job isn’t to offer it.  In public, no less.  Instead you can go to a woman who does offer it, for the same price, with more intimacy and less hassle.  Well done, lad, well done. 

Now, if we can just do something about this whiny attitude problem and your fucking mouth, a provider might actually see you.

I predict that within the week we see another thread by him moaning about dancers who won’t give him BBFS in public, or moaning about BP girls who won’t answer his middle-of-the-night phone calls.  Voice your thoughts now on what he’ll title that thread. 

I’m getting such a kick out of Google.  The number one search for finding my blog is now “bbfs dallas”.  Wazzup, homies? 

Public Service Announcement

Ladies, my grandfather used to say to me that when someone tells you what sort of person they are, believe them.  This works as well for websites as for people.  Eccie has made their opinions clear.  Vote with your feet.  Starve the beast.  Nothing less will have an impact – you know this to be true, because you’ve been told so.

The sidepanel link to Eccie is gone.  You are all welcome to check out Ourhome2.  The traffic is terrible.  Stick it out anyhow.  Ask your clients to port their reviews of you over there.  Also, have a look at Brandy’s Bedroom.  She’s setting up a P411-style client written referencing system and a board for providers, by a provider.  Again, no traffic.  Mamasan never promised life would be easy.

Diversify your advertising.  Part of the problem is that Eccie believes it has in providers a captive audience, as it were.  That we have no choice but to remain on Eccie because we must advertise, and Eccie has the market cornered.  They are wrong.  To convince them of this, however, you will all have to learn to stop putting all of your advertisements in one basket.  Advertise on Eros, P411, Ourhome2, Brandy’s Bedroom, Date-Check… hell, advertise on CL and BP.  Put up a website.  If you need help with that, Mamasan recommends Veronica Moore (link on sidepanel) as being quite expert on all things tech.  Don’t ask Mamasan, I suck at technology.  Links to all the aforementioned sites on sidepanel.

Hop to it, gals. 

[/psa]

I have new linkage!  Found HookerAddict via Veronica’s blog.  This guy is hysterical.  Go read his latest blog post, “The Meet & The Greet” and tell me Mamasan is wrong.  I wasted most of a day reading his blog.  The comments are just as good.

Did a handsome, charming young guy buy you a drink at the bar? If so, I might have been standing next to that guy.

Y’know, on a certain level I suppose it is fun. Hell, I enjoy ‘em. But then again, I enjoy the zoo. Are they effective? I dunno about that. Effective how? My observation is that the guys tend to be time wasters, tire kicker, window shoppers. Not serious buyers. You should go.

I’m dying at the pictures, and I wish I knew how he did that.  Anyhow, HookerAddict is a hobbyist, who seems to not like the term, hobby boards or other hobbyists.  Or, well, perhaps it’s more accurate to say that he gets as much of a kick out of pointing and laughing at moronic behavior as I do.  Which means he has no dearth of material in the hobby.

Oh, and Han shot first.

Damned right he did.