New linkies

May 7, 2010

I bring you the pretty!  Madame X.  Don’t know much about her, but I found myself staring at those white stockings for far longer than was probably healthy.  I imagine the gents around here will probably appreciate the pretty even more than I did.  Plus, sharing might count as my good deed for the day.

Enjoy.  Don’t drool too much, very bad for the keyboard.

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April 24, 2010

It’s been more than a month since the healthcare bill was passed and no political circle-jerks in sight!  Well played, hobby community, well pla-  never mind.

A hobbyist posts a very heartfelt and unabashedly pleading thread to ask for donations.  His ATF has suffered an unfortunate, and severe, car crash.  Not only is her vehicle apparently totaled and she herself unable to work until she has healed, but she is so seriously injured she’s in the ICU.

This differs from the usual crop of “help, help, please give me money” threads on several counts.

1. The OP has a bit of a reputation for having a stick up his ass about providers in general, so any lady good enough to win his affections must be something else indeed.

2. He’s not only opening himself up to being humiliated in public, he’s putting his real name at some risk by setting up means to accept donations on his ATF’s behalf. 

3. The provider isn’t asking for rent money because she’s broke and maybe/probably needs money management as much as she needs funds.  This is a genuine financial catastrophe.

My opinion of this guy just went up quite a bit.

Aaaand someone immediately takes the opportunity to say this proves the OP is wrong about Obamacare, which would fix his ATF’s problems. 

Someone else says Obamacare would shove her in a closet, and maybe she’d DIE!!!1

I can see they’ve fully grasped this woman’s personal tragedy.  (As a tool to flog their dead horses.  Self-centered?  Never!)   

Maybe if he changed his signature to appear neutral. That stuff rubs some people the wrong way and some may withhold donations.
WINNER!  Say only what I agree with, or the girl gets it.  Bitch, are you for real?  A woman is lying in the intensive care unit and this People’s Choice Award is more concerned with making sure to silence political opposition.
Not precisely oozing the milk of human kindness, eh wot? 
What is typical liberal bull? Getting something for doing nothing?
Mamasan ain’t sayin’ a damned thing.  Nope.
I wonder how these Obama haters felt during the Bush Administration.

Was life all sweet and peachy for them? If it was, then they were in a small minority.

Damned straight.  This’ll teach the OP not to like Obama.
Good sweet Christ on a cracker.  Winning hearts and changing minds for Obamacare, all right.  I read a blog yesterday which mentioned a band that plays a song which reminds me of this thread.  (That sentence was a  mouthful.)  Something about gouging my eyes out to make the pain stop and, Jesus, does it never end?  Most appropriate.

I LOL’ed

April 21, 2010

Hi, guys!  It’s been awhile, huh?  How’ve things been?  Good?  Great.  Me, I’m pretty mosquito-bitten – I swear, I saw one of the buggers eat a bee the other day.  Everything’s been quiet lately, yeah?  I know.  And I only update this blog when people are doing or saying something particularly stupid, so since Eccie’s behaving at the moment…

I found the stupid.  It was hiding over on OurHome2.  (Hat tip to a Minion.  Good find.)

Wanker #1 starts wanking waxes poetic about this ad.  Yeah, I suppose she’s got a bit of a point.  I did cringe when I saw the ad title.  But… meh.  Either titling your ad “IS YOUR SO A BITCH” will get you sessions or it won’t.

But wait!  There’s more!

A gent has the audacity, the sheer temerity, to display a lack of outrage.  (What an asshole!)  Wanker #1 publically threatens a DNS list addition for him and anyone else who thinks like him.  Not that this is an overreaction LIKE WHOA, SERIOUSLY?  (This sort of hair-on-fire behavior over nothing is typical of Wanker #1 – well known for it.)

Go ahead and giggle, I did.  

While I’m at it, Wanker #1.  Types.  Like William Shatner;  Talks.  Mamasan is.  Deriving much personal.  Amusement from this.

But wait!  There’s more!

Second, you really need to remember what a provider is … quite simply, a whore. 

Wanker #2 chimes in!  To which Mamasan says:  Oh hellllll no, you didn’t just go there.  What is with the hobbyists who think they can pull that, “Well, you’re a WHORE” argument out of their pocket and slap it down like the ace of spades as an automatic I-win-every-argument.  Irony, motherfucker – look it up.

You could also title this one, “Reality?  I think I ate there once.  Right next to Denny’s, isn’t it?”

ETA:  And we have an update.  LOL.  Although it would probably be funnier if I knew what either of them were saying. 

The post that looks blank originally read:

I’ll say it for you.

BITCH.

For the win!

I’m thinking this didn’t turn out the way Wanker #1 pictured it.

Oh, honey, no.

April 9, 2010

The ad. 

The website.

Just… no.

Sweetie.  C’mere.  I’m sure you’re a lovely person, inside and out.  Kind to cats, bald men and your mother and all that.  I’m still laughing at you.  See now, the definition of upscale isn’t “I use the words ‘upscale’ and ‘classy’ a lot and charge more than BP girls”.

Upscale, classy ladies don’t have websites that look like some of the seedier strip clubs.  They can also spell, or at least hire webmasters who can.  Only e. e. cummings can get away with failing to capitalize, and no one can get away with random capitalization for apparent artistic purposes. 

Your website makes my brain hurt.  I’m baffled by your pricing structure, which seems based on whim rather than a solid business method.  I don’t really think you came up with those five-dollar words on your own, though I applaud your grasp of a thesaurus.

Don’t call yourself upscale unless you’ve got the brains to back it up.  Frankly, those with the brains generally don’t call themselves upscale either – they don’t have to.  You, sweet pea, strike me as a hot stripper who doesn’t really know what she’s doing.

I recommend a mentor and a new website, immediately and in that order.  And everyone is hereby forbidden to use that stupid center alignment without written permission from yours truly.

Well, after several days of peaceful inanity we are back to reasonable threads descending to a stupidity stampede in five posts or less.  (You knew it was too good to last.)

OP posts a mild rant to say, “WALDT – STFU.”

You would think this is obvious and non-controversial, resulting only in a lot of “+1!” and LOLcat.  You would be wrong.

Correspondingly, MOST of us understand the concept of being grandfathered in. WE pay a provider a certain amount and really don’t care if she raises her rates….we continue to pay the same amount, year after year. Even if you don’t see a provider often, WE continue to make the same donation.

Yep, this is the same guy who tries to get $200 overnights.  I have it on firmest authority that his confidence here is based on internet theory and not on personal experience.  Someone should do him a big favor and let him know his reputation for being a cheap schmuck far outweighs and serves to negate any claims that, “Well, if she doesn’t like it then I won’t see her.”  You see, my fine fat friend, we don’t much care that you think your $150 is too good for us when we’re doing very well with the gents who pay us twice that.

But go ahead and think we cry ourselves to sleep at night for loss of your company.  Whatever gets you through the day, sweet cheeks.

No it is not just their money . It is our money next time you want to see the same girl, and she is thinking I deserve a tip based on my rates.

For the win!  Don’t tip – it’s like taking money from some other hobbyist.  Batshit just exploded his brain.

Let me see if I can follow this train of thought.  (Might be difficult, but I will try!) 

If one guy out of ten tips an extra bill, a provider will of course not think that either she did an exceptional job for this fellow or that this one guy is particularly generous.  No, she will assume the other nine were being cheap by not overpaying by a full bill.  And she will then cause problems for all the other hobbyists by demanding the extra money.

OR…

If nine guys out of ten tip a provider by a small amount, then she will take from that a notion that she is undercharging for her skills and appeal, and will subsequently raise her rates.

First scenario:  I am pretty damned sure this is not a common enough problem to justify your bitching at every guy who tips big.  Are you trying to say that if this had EVER happened, the provider in question would not immediately be thrown in the Alert section and get herself a ten page thread?  *snork*  Sure.  Some gents out there will be exceptionally nice to the ladies they see.  Put on your big-boy panties and deal with it.

Second scenario:  Not only likely, but economically accurate.  Aww, the new awesome girl is making money and now may or may not give it to you for quite so cheaply?  My heart bleeds for you, truly it does.  Your life is surely full of angst and woe.  There, there.  

Capitalism, gents!  It’s the breakfast of champions.

LOLwhut?!

March 27, 2010

HAY I HAZ GR8 IDEA!!!

What do you think this is, Costco?  Free samples.  I have now heard it all.

Side note: And what is this “dawg” shit?  Hobbying – it’s how pudgy middle-aged white men get to pretend they’re on MTV.

Jesus H. Christ.  Some people.

There’s been a dearth of snark-worthy material lately.  Oh, there’s the usual dozen threads asking if ladies prefer hairy faces/balls over clean-shaven (giving the lie to the notion that there’s no such thing as a stupid question), some half-heartened complaints on both sides about discounts/free sessions for good reviews and the gratuitious “I’m a stud, look at meeeee!” stuff we see all the time.  Same shit, different day.

And then I find the motherlode of wank.  Literally.

Very long story cut short:  A guy (I won’t give him the term “hobbyist” as he’s got three reviews, all for >100 strip club fun) goes to a strip club and pays $200 to give himself a handjob.  Woe.  Is.  Him. 

Stupid bitch this, cunt that, skank ass blah blah blah, bitch, fat bitch, loser, stank ass, bitch, bitch, cunt.  This is everyone’s fault but mine.  Why are the girls ignoring me?  I’m a good-looking guy.  Just doesn’t make sense.  Maybe my youthful hot bod intimidated them.

The logic, it burns!  It burns like hygiene!  Seriously?  They won’t talk to you because you’re a pissy little twat, and a cheap fuck to boot.  You win the Justifying My Existence award for the week, young feller!

So, with jizz staining his jeans, Our Handsome Hero exits the club and has a philosophical moment. 

After this debacle I am not going to SC’s for extras anymore. Just isn’t worth it. I’m tired of trying to get to someplace at a certain time for the “early bird special”. I’m tired of the weird ass looks from dancers and staff when I get there and the only other guys in the place are retirees. I’m tired of the rushed feeling for something that should be enjoyed. I’m tired of the lack of intimacy. I’m tired of overpaying. I’m tired of all of the drinking before and after. I’m tired off all of the associated costs. I’m tired of always looking in the rear view for cops so I don’t get busted. This shit just isn’t fun. I really think that if I really need a release, and there aren’t any options on the bootie call list, I’ll just try out a provider or go to AMPs. I think it will be cheaper in the long run and I could probably enjoy myself. I know I’ll probably drink less overall.

Yes!,  Yes, my son, you are now getting it!  Isn’t it a wonderful moment?  The problem isn’t the strip club and isn’t the dancers, it is YOU.  You were expecting too much, for too little in return, from women whose job isn’t to offer it.  In public, no less.  Instead you can go to a woman who does offer it, for the same price, with more intimacy and less hassle.  Well done, lad, well done. 

Now, if we can just do something about this whiny attitude problem and your fucking mouth, a provider might actually see you.

I predict that within the week we see another thread by him moaning about dancers who won’t give him BBFS in public, or moaning about BP girls who won’t answer his middle-of-the-night phone calls.  Voice your thoughts now on what he’ll title that thread.