The donation

March 19, 2010

It’s almost the first question every wanna-be escort asks, right behind, “How much can I make?” and “But what do you do if…”

How much should I charge?

The easy answer is, “How much are you worth?”

I’ll not touch on issues of non-FS, such as FBSM, because Mamasan has never been in that side of the business.  If any ladies reading this are, and feel they’ve got some valuable insights, please do email me. 

First thing you do:  Research the local market.  Read ads, visit websites, talk to other ladies.  Take an honest inventory of your skills, menu and appeal and then find independent ladies whose offerings are in a similar range.  Whatever their donations are, is what you should eventually be able to ask without much trouble.

Second thing:  Ignore any advice from hobbyists, especially of the unsolicited sort.  There are good hobbyists out there who will school you on the business with the best of intentions, hoping only for your success.  If you’re new enough to be uncertain about your donation, you are too new to know these guys from the cuntrags.    Yes, I’m sure he seems all nice and sweet.  Don’t argue.  There are guys out there who make a specialty of finding new, impressionable girls and exploiting them until the girl wises up or runs away in tears as far from the hobby world as she can get.  And to newbies, they look and sound just like the good guys.

Just stay away from all male advice until you’ve learned the basics.  You will thank me later.

So.  You’re not taking suggestions from the men, and you know about what similar ladies in your area are asking for donations.  Now, take that figure and drop it by ten percent.

You’re arguing again, I can hear it from here.  “But Mamasan, I’m new and fresh and these guys’d better recognize-”

Doesn’t work like that, sweets.  You’re new and fresh, sure, and stated another way you’re inexperienced and unproven.  No one knows you, you have no skin in the game, the hobbyists haven’t a clue what you’re like.  Are you a flake?  Dunno.  Are you on crack?  They don’t know.  Are you even any good at this?  Not a damned clue. 

From a hobbyist’s perspective, he’s got several hundred dollars.  It can either go to you, a potential waste of hard-earned cash for no benefit but some consoling pats on the back after he takes one for the team, or the same amount of cash can go to a lady he’s already seen and knows will give good value.   

Most guys won’t even hesitate.  They’ll see the lady who has already proven herself, and leave you to possibly sucker some other guy.  Getting into the game means giving them a good reason to run the risk of TOFTT.  Best way to do this is to offer comparable appeal and menu for ten percent less.

Relax.  It’s temporary.  Give yourself three to six months at the “new girl” rate.  After you’ve got a rookie-level client base built up and a review or five, or at least some decent word of mouth, move your donation back to what the other ladies are asking.  Grandfather some of your best guys, and close your ears to any bitching that comes down the pipe about Golden Pussy Syndrome.  Most of the crybabies weren’t guys you were seeing anyway, and those men wouldn’t be happy until you started $60 FS + Greek.

What’s Golden Pussy Syndrome?  It usually sounds like this, “She thinks her pussy is made of gold, such a shame, sure hope her 401k is real damn healthy because she’ll get no business now with an attitude like that, back in the day she used to know how to work in this business but now that she’s gotten all uppity…”  Whine, whine, whine.  If you hear this from gents you’ve actually seen BCD more than once, you’ve got a problem.  Otherwise, in one ear and out the other.  Most of it comes from message board posters who weren’t your target client base, and never will be.

The donation schedule should be reviewed periodically to decide whether it is still appropriate.  The simple rule is, if you aren’t getting enough appointments then you need to either up your level of service or lower your rates.  If you’re beating them off with a stick, raise your rates.  Small, cautious rate changes to offset inflation are fine but watch carefully and be ready to go back to your usual donation if business appears slim.

Multi-hours, overnights and trips.  Plan ahead – most new girls establish hourly rates and then are taken by surprise when a guy asks for more time, and aren’t sure what to tell him.

Incall is expected to be on your dime.  That’s called overhead, sweetheart.  All businesses have overhead, and (surprise!) you’re running a business.  Net profits are what you have left over after you’ve paid your business expenses.  THAT is what you live your personal life on.  Budget accordingly.

It is SOP for the hourly rate to cover usual overheads in your immediate area.  If a gent requests a specific location which is not near to you – your incall is in downtown San Antonio and he wants you to drive to Kerrville – it’s normal and even expected to ask for a surcharge to cover additonal expenses and time.  $50 or so is fine.  If he wants you to drive from downtown San Antonio to Kingsville, he should expect to pay an appropriately higher surcharge.   

At some point in your new career, you may become the flavor of the month.  Do not let this go to your head and start charging twenty percent more than anyone else.  It’s temporary lemming behavior and will go away, and then won’t YOU look like a jackass.  Just continue to ride the wave at your usual donation and make sure to provide quality service to properly screened gents.  If, weeks and weeks later, you are still inundated with requests for sessions, go ahead and raise the donation at that point.  You’ll have earned it, not by being the newest fad but by becoming a justifiably popular, proven lady.  Congrats, you’re in the big time now, baby.

A few final tips. 

Never discuss rates and menu.  You have ads and websites for all they need to know about the donation.  For preference, never discuss your menu at all. 

Donation does not equal class.  $800 with two-hour minimums cannot buy dignity, and neither can $100 B&G take it away.  Class is who you are, not how much you make.  Now go out there and prove it.

Say it with me, ladies – “I do not negotiate”.  There’s always some joker who thinks he’s such a special snowflake that he deserves a better deal than what you give to all the lovely gents who’ve taken the time to establish a regular client relationship.  DNS the fucker and move on.


Shall we tell him?

March 18, 2010

I’m sending this guy a bill for a new monitor, as I spit coffee on mine when I read his post.

I can’t get action from providers! What am I doing wrong!?  Can anybody tell me what I am doing wrong! I called Iris from backpage about two weeks ago for an outcall I didn’t argue over the donation, I wasn’t rude, I speak proper english and texted my address like she requested. She told me she will be there within 35 minutes, LIE, one hour later she is not answering my calls. I asked for a courtesy call or message through text but she didn’t reply and I gave up. The following week I called her and asked for her services again. She asked me to text her my address and again was a no call no show!! Well, I called Maria from backpage that same day and we came to an agreement on a donation. She told me she can be at my place in 45min. One hour came and went and no show. I called her and she told me her gps said 35 to arrival so I patiently waited. After another hour I called her back and she didn’t answer. Yesterday I called Dani from backpage who also gave me the run around and was a no call no show as well!! Three providers have stood me so I am wondering what is going on. I follow everything they ask on their ads I am hispanic just like them, I don’t argue on donation, live in a private secure complex, and don’t get an attitude when they don’t show when they said so what am I doing wrong?? Can anybody help me with this problem

Lordie.  Sweets, there’s nothing wrong with you that a clue-by-four upside the head wouldn’t cure.  Just to prove my point:

I’m done with hispanic providers i’m going back to asians.

I’ll get to the attitude problem in a minute, I’d just like to say:  In Texas?  Fucking good luck with that.  How new must you be to even threaten a “No Latina” policy?  Readers, we have a winner here!  I can tell. 

So.  Attitude problem.  Lack of research.  Calls providers at a quarter past f’ing midnight and expects immediate appointment.  Calls BP girls (motto: Caveat emptor, AHAHAHA).  No apparent references.  No apparent brains.  Asks about money after reading an ad (in Houston!).  Calls providers who have already NCNS’ed him. 

And yet, he is so puzzled, he is, as to WHY he is not getting any action.  Sacre bleu!  It is so strange, eh wot?  Whatever could possibly be the problem?

Dude, you’re like a toddler waving around a loaded gun.  You need a spanking, and I wonder at your parents.  If I ever catch you calling providers in the wee sma’s for no-notice/no-reference sessions again, I will personally bitch-slap you.

Sit down.  Read.  Research.  Call only proven ladies if you’ve got limited time/funds.  Learn how to spell “rookie”.  Like every good Texan, love the Latinas as much as you fear them, for they will shave your balls while you sleep and pour hot sauce on them.  Above all else, Mamasan’s Rule #1:  Good playtime is earned – no one owes you a damned thing.


In an unrelated snark, a poster is faced with the inconceivable.  Providers will turn down my money?  The hell you say!  Everyone knows providers are so broke and desperate they’ll do anything for a few bills, even see him.  (LOLunintentionalirony) 

Fuck that puto.

That’s all I have to say on that.

Chevalier asks in a recent blog post:

  • On average, are P4P clients “worse” than men in general?
  • On average, are participants on review/discussion boards “worse” than P4P clients in general?
  • If so, it it because boards attract that kind of person or create that kind of person?
  • Is an alternative without the drawbacks, but still as a good target audience for the ladies’ advertising, feasible?

All remarkably good questions.  I’m devoting a blog to it as I’d suck up too much space in a comment.

Are hobbyists worse than men in general?  No, I don’t think so.  Like any cross-section of humanity, you’ll find some particularly scabby types, a few downright villainous characters, the odd touchy-sensitive crybaby. 

Most of my clientele are men aged 35-60, and are either sex addicts or starved for positive attention/playtime.  They’re not bad, they’re lonely.  I’m rather fond of many of them.

If anything, it’s possible that hobbyists are easier to deal with than civilian men.  The hobbyists will often know what they want and have no shame in communicating this to you, and discuss their needs freely (for men) to each other.  Whether they can translate these healthy habits over into their personal life is something I’ve never determined. 

Are male posters on hobby boards generally worse than hobbyists in general?  Yes.  God, yes.  In my (overstated) opinion, active board posters are emotionally needy men who seek out message boards for validation, not hobbying.  How emotionally needy correlates to how much they spam the board with their posts. 

Infrequent posters and lurkers are the true hobbiers.  They’re there to utilize the tools available to facilitate the hobby experience… and to make the occasional post on a thread that looks interesting, though this wasn’t the objective when they logged on.

Does the board attract or create the sort of poster found on their site?  Both.  A “hobbyist-friendly” board with a prediliction for spite and misogyny will attract more members like those already there.  Hobbyists found the board by looking for other hobbyists; those who aren’t hobbyists quickly go elsewhere.  Like seeks out like.

But, a man who squirmed at first upon seeing nasty words thrown about like confetti soon settles in.  When in Rome, and all that.  Parrot the views of your peers long enough and they will become your views as well, or near enough as to make no difference.

Is the creation of an alternative board possible?  Mamasan thinks anything is possible.  There’s certainly room enough on the web for more than one message board.  Perhaps more to the point is asking whether Eccie has what it takes to remain the only viable solution, which it is right now.  Mamasan doubts it.  The place is crumbling from within.  Ladies are walking out in rather alarming numbers, and some very quality ladies at that.  For all everyone loves to talk about “this board is for hobbyists” and “it’s about reviews for the guys”, we’ll have to see if they still maintain that the ladies are naught but mere afterthoughts on their boards when ladies become thin on the ground.

Thinner than they are already, I mean.

You can already find men posting on other sites that they are leaving Eccie because of the male attitude problems and the good women are jumping ship.  That is what Mamasan calls a “bad sign”.

And the minions swing into action with a quickness.  Good catch, Anonymous.  This one’s got it all: cross-gender hysterics, martyrdom, epic failure-to-get-it, and nice potential for flouncing off in a huff.  Brilliant.

Wherein a Houston ASPD moderator demonstrates that, of all the things he learned in years of moderating and hosting, the one thing he did not learn from the December social raid is that, “It’s okay, he’s with me” is still a bad idea.

To sum it up:

A male mod asks a question to which he didn’t really want an answer.  He gets one anyway.  Cue reply of, “FINE, well, if you just DON’T LOVE ME then I guess I’ll shut up.  I’m a MOD, but what do I know after YEARS of killing myself for you people.  *sniff*” which is extraordinary mostly for the fact he doesn’t realize he sounds like his wife.  First respondent and another mod tell him his butt looks fine in those jeans try to calm him down.  He climbs up on his cross and does a Jesus impersonation.

Wank, wank, wank.

Friendship with a mod does not count as a BCD reference.  I’m rather surprised this question was even posed.  No, let me clarify:  I’m surprised this question was posed by a long-time mod and experienced hobbyist.  Idiots and n00bs ask it all the time. 

No, we will not call your buddy because he’ll say you’re “cool”.  No, we will not accept another hobbyist at a social saying, “Oh, yeah, sure, he’s a great guy.”  Listen close, gents, and I’ll tell you why not.

We’re asking different things.

YOU are saying that he’s amusing and you’d buy him a beer.  We want to know how often he showers, is he respectful to women, is he punctual, what triggers his jimmy and the jimmy’s rough dimensions.

If you can speak from personal experience on all that – including the last two – then Mamasan will accept a reference from a male hobbyist and promises to be very discreet about your relationship with him.  Until then?  Wanker, please.  Not only am I eyeballing your posts as prime “emotionally high-maintenance” red flag material, Mamasan is also getting strong whiffs that you think you and your hobby pals ought to be outside the normal rules and SOP because you are “important”.  Seriously?  You post on the internet.  That doesn’t make you important.  Go cure male pattern baldness or something and then get back to me.

New linkage

March 14, 2010

I’ve added another blog to the blogroll.  Inspired to Blog, captained by Sarah.  I like this gal, so few can do the sexy-Mum thing well, and without it coming off as… odd.  She does it fabulously.   I’m just as entertained reading about her son not cleaning up after himself as I am looking at pictures of her wearing what appears to be black PVC.  (Nice picture!)  And of course, her blog posts and comments seem very sensible in regards to hobby dynamics.  You all must know by now how much I like sensible.

Sigh.  It’s almost disheartening how easily and often I can find these instances wherein both parties need a good smacking and to be sent to their corners until they learn how to behave.

On the other hand, I’ll have no shortage of material for my blog.  Silver lining!

Dear Hot Mess,

Posting (in Co-Ed) that you can’t wait to leave Austin and you’ll never come back because one would-be hobbyist was rude to you is just goofy.  What were they supposed to do, apologize and promise to run him out of town on a rail?  Guarantee a hassle-free Austin for your touring convenience?  Just please, pretty please, come back and see us sometime?  Ridiculous.  When you blame the whole town for one man, don’t be surprised when the whole town snarls back.

You, missy, are not helping anyone.  And your posts make my brain hurt.

Dear “LOL, I’m rude, I RAWK!”,

You’re a twat.  Twelve year old girls can come up with better insults.  Congratulations for one of the bitchier posts in Co-Ed – perhaps we should have you tested for estrogen.  What is it that you do, exactly, which allows you to pay $250 an hour for a lady’s time and yet being only slightly more coherent than a fifth-grader is not a problem? 

I’m catagorizing you with the many other men who remain unable to comprehend that this board contains not just hobbyists, but many of the hottest nymphomaniacs in the nation.  And they’re reading your post, genius.  

Don’t cock-swing unless you want the ladies to see what you’ve got.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: No matter how cool your “bros” on a message board think you are, until the bros grow vaginas it isn’t going to get you laid.  Duh, twitterfuck.

Ladies!  Come sit up here on Mamasan’s lap.  She’s got a story for you.

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess.  And then came along a mean, ugly old hobbyist.  This mean old hobbyist had heard such tales of the princess’s beauty and talent, he could not resist trying to see it for himself.  But the beautiful princess was too careful and only liked to see respectful, nice hobbyists who could get through her screening process.

Well, the mean old hobbyist got very angry.  So he went onto a hobby site and told all the other hobbyists that the beautiful princess was actually ten years older and twenty pounds heavier than her pictures showed, had a pimp who sat outside and timed the hobbyist, and was a real nasty bitch but maybe that’s because he didn’t give the $100 extra tip she tried to get out of him for BBFS.

This shocked the beautiful princess!  She hadn’t ever laid eyes on the mean, ugly old hobbyist, let alone done all those terrible things he said about her.  What was she to do?

Ladies, she is to write a rebuttal.  And here is how.

The username.

The link to the false review.

A short statement consisting solely of the facts on your knowledge of and relationship with this hobbyist.  

I have never seen this hobbyist.  He gave two provider references, and one of the providers said she had never seen him.  Here is a copy of the email I sent to decline his request for an appointment. 


Any circumstantial evidence to support your assertion that the review is false. 

Here is a receipt for Carraba’s, a ticket stub for the movie “Legion” and a receipt from Adam & Eve.  On the day in question, I spent the entire day with provider Blond Lily.  We got our nails done, cruised the mall, picked up new toys and lotions for our gentlemen friends, had some dinner, saw a movie and then got piss-faced at a pub.  She will corroborate this.  I did not have an appointment that day, and certainly not with that hobbyist.

Close with the statement that the review has been reported to the staff.  And then STOP.  Do not editorialize.  Don’t get weepy and emotional.  Don’t say all men suck so bad except maybe the ones who believe you.  Do not mention your children and how you work so hard just to give them the best, and then some asshole has to come along and ruin everything a single mother has worked to build.  Don’t (DON’T) tell them how you did this for him, and that for him, and tried so hard to please him, because you just like pleasing men and it’s so important to you that every guy is happy, and now he’s gone and made you question everything because he didn’t appreciate all you did for him, and maybe you ought to be like those BP girls and just be cold-hearted from now on.

It’s entirely within the realm of possibility that all this shit is true.  It isn’t relevent, though.  It certainly isn’t professional.  You sound like a hysterical drama queen.  Focus, sweetheart – he told a lie, you are exposing the lie and providing any evidence you have to assist with this.  That is all.

In the name of all that’s holy, write it well.  Capitalize.  Punctuate.  Paragraphs are your friend.  Run it through a spell-check.  Then run it by a provider friend who sounds really smart.  Hell, get her to write it FOR you if you think there’s a chance that might be necessary.   Proper English skills are not a requirement of this job, or even of posting on hobby sites (just look at some of the hobbyists).  However, credibility is tied to whether you sound intelligent or like a ditzy flake.  Yes, Mamasan knows this is neither fair nor accurate, but it’s still true.

And then leave well enough alone.  Don’t get involved in any drama that descends onto your rebuttal thread.  If (when) a hobbyist posts on your thread that you should have just kept your mouth shut, make a short reply that rebuttals are considered vital to ensure accurate reviews.  Leave it alone.    If you’ve followed the directions so far you’re doing great and probably making a damned fine impression on the men who spend money.  Don’t ruin it now.

It should go without saying that, when you stated in the rebuttal that you had reported the false review to site staff, you should have actually done so.  Your rebuttal might be a flash in the pan, convincing everyone who sees it at the time that the review was truly false.  The lurkers who come along a month later and search your reviews won’t know this.  Try to get the review removed, or at least a staff note that it is under investigation.