Well, after several days of peaceful inanity we are back to reasonable threads descending to a stupidity stampede in five posts or less.  (You knew it was too good to last.)

OP posts a mild rant to say, “WALDT – STFU.”

You would think this is obvious and non-controversial, resulting only in a lot of “+1!” and LOLcat.  You would be wrong.

Correspondingly, MOST of us understand the concept of being grandfathered in. WE pay a provider a certain amount and really don’t care if she raises her rates….we continue to pay the same amount, year after year. Even if you don’t see a provider often, WE continue to make the same donation.

Yep, this is the same guy who tries to get $200 overnights.  I have it on firmest authority that his confidence here is based on internet theory and not on personal experience.  Someone should do him a big favor and let him know his reputation for being a cheap schmuck far outweighs and serves to negate any claims that, “Well, if she doesn’t like it then I won’t see her.”  You see, my fine fat friend, we don’t much care that you think your $150 is too good for us when we’re doing very well with the gents who pay us twice that.

But go ahead and think we cry ourselves to sleep at night for loss of your company.  Whatever gets you through the day, sweet cheeks.

No it is not just their money . It is our money next time you want to see the same girl, and she is thinking I deserve a tip based on my rates.

For the win!  Don’t tip – it’s like taking money from some other hobbyist.  Batshit just exploded his brain.

Let me see if I can follow this train of thought.  (Might be difficult, but I will try!) 

If one guy out of ten tips an extra bill, a provider will of course not think that either she did an exceptional job for this fellow or that this one guy is particularly generous.  No, she will assume the other nine were being cheap by not overpaying by a full bill.  And she will then cause problems for all the other hobbyists by demanding the extra money.

OR…

If nine guys out of ten tip a provider by a small amount, then she will take from that a notion that she is undercharging for her skills and appeal, and will subsequently raise her rates.

First scenario:  I am pretty damned sure this is not a common enough problem to justify your bitching at every guy who tips big.  Are you trying to say that if this had EVER happened, the provider in question would not immediately be thrown in the Alert section and get herself a ten page thread?  *snork*  Sure.  Some gents out there will be exceptionally nice to the ladies they see.  Put on your big-boy panties and deal with it.

Second scenario:  Not only likely, but economically accurate.  Aww, the new awesome girl is making money and now may or may not give it to you for quite so cheaply?  My heart bleeds for you, truly it does.  Your life is surely full of angst and woe.  There, there.  

Capitalism, gents!  It’s the breakfast of champions.

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LOLwhut?!

March 27, 2010

HAY I HAZ GR8 IDEA!!!

What do you think this is, Costco?  Free samples.  I have now heard it all.

Side note: And what is this “dawg” shit?  Hobbying – it’s how pudgy middle-aged white men get to pretend they’re on MTV.

Jesus H. Christ.  Some people.

There’s been a dearth of snark-worthy material lately.  Oh, there’s the usual dozen threads asking if ladies prefer hairy faces/balls over clean-shaven (giving the lie to the notion that there’s no such thing as a stupid question), some half-heartened complaints on both sides about discounts/free sessions for good reviews and the gratuitious “I’m a stud, look at meeeee!” stuff we see all the time.  Same shit, different day.

And then I find the motherlode of wank.  Literally.

Very long story cut short:  A guy (I won’t give him the term “hobbyist” as he’s got three reviews, all for >100 strip club fun) goes to a strip club and pays $200 to give himself a handjob.  Woe.  Is.  Him. 

Stupid bitch this, cunt that, skank ass blah blah blah, bitch, fat bitch, loser, stank ass, bitch, bitch, cunt.  This is everyone’s fault but mine.  Why are the girls ignoring me?  I’m a good-looking guy.  Just doesn’t make sense.  Maybe my youthful hot bod intimidated them.

The logic, it burns!  It burns like hygiene!  Seriously?  They won’t talk to you because you’re a pissy little twat, and a cheap fuck to boot.  You win the Justifying My Existence award for the week, young feller!

So, with jizz staining his jeans, Our Handsome Hero exits the club and has a philosophical moment. 

After this debacle I am not going to SC’s for extras anymore. Just isn’t worth it. I’m tired of trying to get to someplace at a certain time for the “early bird special”. I’m tired of the weird ass looks from dancers and staff when I get there and the only other guys in the place are retirees. I’m tired of the rushed feeling for something that should be enjoyed. I’m tired of the lack of intimacy. I’m tired of overpaying. I’m tired of all of the drinking before and after. I’m tired off all of the associated costs. I’m tired of always looking in the rear view for cops so I don’t get busted. This shit just isn’t fun. I really think that if I really need a release, and there aren’t any options on the bootie call list, I’ll just try out a provider or go to AMPs. I think it will be cheaper in the long run and I could probably enjoy myself. I know I’ll probably drink less overall.

Yes!,  Yes, my son, you are now getting it!  Isn’t it a wonderful moment?  The problem isn’t the strip club and isn’t the dancers, it is YOU.  You were expecting too much, for too little in return, from women whose job isn’t to offer it.  In public, no less.  Instead you can go to a woman who does offer it, for the same price, with more intimacy and less hassle.  Well done, lad, well done. 

Now, if we can just do something about this whiny attitude problem and your fucking mouth, a provider might actually see you.

I predict that within the week we see another thread by him moaning about dancers who won’t give him BBFS in public, or moaning about BP girls who won’t answer his middle-of-the-night phone calls.  Voice your thoughts now on what he’ll title that thread. 

… where I can hear.  (Or read, as it were.) 

Cannot believe I am sitting here in Dallas with a wad of cash and NO date!  OK, so not exactly a wad of cash…but I do have a good portion of an avg. HHR in this fine town! But I have gift cards that can make up the rest.

I don’t even need to comment.  It stands on its own.

There is nothing nw under the sun.  We have all seen this one, in its many variations, and it invatiably starts with “I’ve got a great idea”.  The gist is:

A client would like to go on vacation, and he would like to take a lovely working companion with him.  Maybe to the Caymans, maybe on a cruise, perhaps to Rome.  But, you see, since the client will be paying so very much for the lady companion’s airfare, lodging, meals and expenses, he must insist upon a discount for her time.  Anything “free” or slightly higher will do.  This is, of course, pefectly logical seeing as she is getting a free vacation .  Right?

Gentlemen.  Let us be honest, one with the other.  There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you are not offering one now (although you are expecting one).  In truth, you are asking a lady to spend a week working for you.  A week in which she will be expected to provide her time and attention, devoted solely to you, in whatever measure you determine is “owed” to you.  Be frank; were this lady to spend her vacation lounging by the pool, seeing the nightlife, enjoying the fine cuisine or simply reading a book, as is her wont, with or without you by her side you would be mightily offended.  And why?  Because she is acting as if she is on vacation.  You expect her to work.  For a week.  With nothing to show for it but a tan she got whenever you decided she could have time to herself.

If you are flush and generous enough to send a lady on vacation without expectations, you’re a lovely soul and we all applaud your good nature.  When you want a lady to work for you, you must pay.  If you insist the lady do the work in Vegas then how she gets there is your problem, not hers.  She doesn’t owe you merely because you picked the venue.