Sigh.  It’s almost disheartening how easily and often I can find these instances wherein both parties need a good smacking and to be sent to their corners until they learn how to behave.

On the other hand, I’ll have no shortage of material for my blog.  Silver lining!

Dear Hot Mess,

Posting (in Co-Ed) that you can’t wait to leave Austin and you’ll never come back because one would-be hobbyist was rude to you is just goofy.  What were they supposed to do, apologize and promise to run him out of town on a rail?  Guarantee a hassle-free Austin for your touring convenience?  Just please, pretty please, come back and see us sometime?  Ridiculous.  When you blame the whole town for one man, don’t be surprised when the whole town snarls back.

You, missy, are not helping anyone.  And your posts make my brain hurt.

Dear “LOL, I’m rude, I RAWK!”,

You’re a twat.  Twelve year old girls can come up with better insults.  Congratulations for one of the bitchier posts in Co-Ed – perhaps we should have you tested for estrogen.  What is it that you do, exactly, which allows you to pay $250 an hour for a lady’s time and yet being only slightly more coherent than a fifth-grader is not a problem? 

I’m catagorizing you with the many other men who remain unable to comprehend that this board contains not just hobbyists, but many of the hottest nymphomaniacs in the nation.  And they’re reading your post, genius.  

Don’t cock-swing unless you want the ladies to see what you’ve got.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: No matter how cool your “bros” on a message board think you are, until the bros grow vaginas it isn’t going to get you laid.  Duh, twitterfuck.

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Where to start?

February 25, 2010

There’s been a fair few threads asking why providers have minimum-age policies.  I suspect, if such ladies were asked out of hearing of potential clients, they might offer up the following as Exhibit A.

Ok had a session with a very very well reviewed provider, and about 30 minutes into the session, she says “you are hard”, at first I took it as a compliment and started talking dirty back to her, and she says it again but this time her face is grimacing, and I was thinking to myself yeah that usually helps during sex, haven’t practiced shooting pool with a rope, but that is why it’s called a hard on…she keeps complaining that I am hard and it is starting to hurt her…I am no John Holmes, so it wasn’t like I was puncturing her ovaries, and she tells me your going to have to cum, 35 minutes into the session…umm I thought I had signed up for an hour? She tells me she usually only sees 1 a day and will occasionally see 2, so it should not be she is so sore from overuse, any body else ever heard of such a thing? I would have thought she would have been more concerned that it wasn’t hard, Hello when it’s hard it likes what it sees…that should be a comlepment? If I want to get told to hurry up and cum I would have stayed home and saved some money or would have gone surfing on backpage… I am 37 good looking well groomed so it shouldn’t have been a YMMV thing in trying to get the stinky ogar out of here…

 
Also, intelligent, articulate and a good lover.  One wonders why some lucky civilian hasn’t snapped him right off the market.  Shall I  dive in by pointing out the obvious?
 
 
 
I’m wondering why his age and opinion on his own good looks has anything to do with her being in pain.
 
 
 
If you feel you are being ripped off when you don’t get to pound away for a full 60 minutes with complete disregard for your playmate – buy a blow-up doll.
 
 
 
How low- or high-volume the lady is has no merit on whether you’re allowed to abuse her tender bits.  Anyways, if she were high-volume you’d merely be complaining that the other six guys that day ought to have primed the well.
 
 
 
Well done on the public post.  Perhaps it might not have occurred to you that your statement could be considered adding insult to injury when this “well reviewed” lady logs on to the board.  I’m certain it hasn’t occurred to you that you’ve now made your way onto DNS lists by being rough, callow, demanding, attempting to humiliate your playmate in public as relatiation for daring to feel pain, as well as being so dense as to post the evidence in public where all the ladies can see it.  Bravo.
 
 
 
The worst news is, I bet someone gave this winner a good reference.