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April 24, 2010

It’s been more than a month since the healthcare bill was passed and no political circle-jerks in sight!  Well played, hobby community, well pla-  never mind.

A hobbyist posts a very heartfelt and unabashedly pleading thread to ask for donations.  His ATF has suffered an unfortunate, and severe, car crash.  Not only is her vehicle apparently totaled and she herself unable to work until she has healed, but she is so seriously injured she’s in the ICU.

This differs from the usual crop of “help, help, please give me money” threads on several counts.

1. The OP has a bit of a reputation for having a stick up his ass about providers in general, so any lady good enough to win his affections must be something else indeed.

2. He’s not only opening himself up to being humiliated in public, he’s putting his real name at some risk by setting up means to accept donations on his ATF’s behalf. 

3. The provider isn’t asking for rent money because she’s broke and maybe/probably needs money management as much as she needs funds.  This is a genuine financial catastrophe.

My opinion of this guy just went up quite a bit.

Aaaand someone immediately takes the opportunity to say this proves the OP is wrong about Obamacare, which would fix his ATF’s problems. 

Someone else says Obamacare would shove her in a closet, and maybe she’d DIE!!!1

I can see they’ve fully grasped this woman’s personal tragedy.  (As a tool to flog their dead horses.  Self-centered?  Never!)   

Maybe if he changed his signature to appear neutral. That stuff rubs some people the wrong way and some may withhold donations.
WINNER!  Say only what I agree with, or the girl gets it.  Bitch, are you for real?  A woman is lying in the intensive care unit and this People’s Choice Award is more concerned with making sure to silence political opposition.
Not precisely oozing the milk of human kindness, eh wot? 
What is typical liberal bull? Getting something for doing nothing?
Mamasan ain’t sayin’ a damned thing.  Nope.
I wonder how these Obama haters felt during the Bush Administration.

Was life all sweet and peachy for them? If it was, then they were in a small minority.

Damned straight.  This’ll teach the OP not to like Obama.
Good sweet Christ on a cracker.  Winning hearts and changing minds for Obamacare, all right.  I read a blog yesterday which mentioned a band that plays a song which reminds me of this thread.  (That sentence was a  mouthful.)  Something about gouging my eyes out to make the pain stop and, Jesus, does it never end?  Most appropriate.
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This topic keeps coming up, no matter how I wish it will die a gruesome death, so I should probably put it in the primer.

Bartering.

Picture this. 

“Joe’s Plumbing, Joe the Plumber speaking.”

“Hi Joe, this is BigDaddy Hobbyist.  The wife wants a new faucet installed and I don’t have the time to do it myself.  Do you think you could take this on?”

“Sure.  I could have someone out Wednesday.  Is around four o’clock good for you?”

“That’s fine.  Say, it’s okay if I pay with a slightly used Dell notebook, right?  It’s worth at least $350.”

“…”

No?  You don’t think your plumber would go for that?  Okay, but surely your accountant would.  Or, say, you could mention this to your boss.  I bet he has something around the house he could offer you instead of your paycheck.  Yeah?  This works for you?

Right.  Thought not.

This is real simple.  We’re running a business here, not a garage sale.  A poster in the linked thread has a fine point about the debased currency, but my insurance company isn’t going to care about a spiel on the inherent worthlessness of fiat dollars as opposed to, say… a cow. 

Reasons Why Cash Is King:

– The insurance company and the landlord for my incall will take cash.  They will not take a slightly used Dell notebook. 

– If the cash is dirty, worn and spent some time in the asscrack of another woman, it is still a usable medium of exchange.  This is not true of the quality lingerie you offered as payment, which turns out to have belonged to your wife.

– If you promised to pay in photography services and the lady discovers too late that you don’t know which is the business end of the camera, she cannot demand you give the BBBJ back.

Barter Is Appropriate When:

– The lady posts a request for a specific item or service, which you happen to be able to offer.  Note that she is proposing the exchange.  It is her business, and she has now let you know that she will temporarily accept slightly used Dell notebooks in lieu of cash.  This does not mean you can offer her a set of used rims instead.

– You are a regular customer who has fallen on hard times.  It may be appropriate for you and a favorite ladyfriend to renegotiate the nature of your compensation for her time.  This is, of course, up to the lady in question.   

If you’re sitting on a lot of used/slightly used stuff and you’d like to parlay that into playtime, gents, Mamasan suggests eBay.  There’s lots more people there that want your stuff and will give you cash, and lots more ladies who will take cash than want your stuff.  See how that works?

Well, after several days of peaceful inanity we are back to reasonable threads descending to a stupidity stampede in five posts or less.  (You knew it was too good to last.)

OP posts a mild rant to say, “WALDT – STFU.”

You would think this is obvious and non-controversial, resulting only in a lot of “+1!” and LOLcat.  You would be wrong.

Correspondingly, MOST of us understand the concept of being grandfathered in. WE pay a provider a certain amount and really don’t care if she raises her rates….we continue to pay the same amount, year after year. Even if you don’t see a provider often, WE continue to make the same donation.

Yep, this is the same guy who tries to get $200 overnights.  I have it on firmest authority that his confidence here is based on internet theory and not on personal experience.  Someone should do him a big favor and let him know his reputation for being a cheap schmuck far outweighs and serves to negate any claims that, “Well, if she doesn’t like it then I won’t see her.”  You see, my fine fat friend, we don’t much care that you think your $150 is too good for us when we’re doing very well with the gents who pay us twice that.

But go ahead and think we cry ourselves to sleep at night for loss of your company.  Whatever gets you through the day, sweet cheeks.

No it is not just their money . It is our money next time you want to see the same girl, and she is thinking I deserve a tip based on my rates.

For the win!  Don’t tip – it’s like taking money from some other hobbyist.  Batshit just exploded his brain.

Let me see if I can follow this train of thought.  (Might be difficult, but I will try!) 

If one guy out of ten tips an extra bill, a provider will of course not think that either she did an exceptional job for this fellow or that this one guy is particularly generous.  No, she will assume the other nine were being cheap by not overpaying by a full bill.  And she will then cause problems for all the other hobbyists by demanding the extra money.

OR…

If nine guys out of ten tip a provider by a small amount, then she will take from that a notion that she is undercharging for her skills and appeal, and will subsequently raise her rates.

First scenario:  I am pretty damned sure this is not a common enough problem to justify your bitching at every guy who tips big.  Are you trying to say that if this had EVER happened, the provider in question would not immediately be thrown in the Alert section and get herself a ten page thread?  *snork*  Sure.  Some gents out there will be exceptionally nice to the ladies they see.  Put on your big-boy panties and deal with it.

Second scenario:  Not only likely, but economically accurate.  Aww, the new awesome girl is making money and now may or may not give it to you for quite so cheaply?  My heart bleeds for you, truly it does.  Your life is surely full of angst and woe.  There, there.  

Capitalism, gents!  It’s the breakfast of champions.

The donation

March 19, 2010

It’s almost the first question every wanna-be escort asks, right behind, “How much can I make?” and “But what do you do if…”

How much should I charge?

The easy answer is, “How much are you worth?”

I’ll not touch on issues of non-FS, such as FBSM, because Mamasan has never been in that side of the business.  If any ladies reading this are, and feel they’ve got some valuable insights, please do email me. 

First thing you do:  Research the local market.  Read ads, visit websites, talk to other ladies.  Take an honest inventory of your skills, menu and appeal and then find independent ladies whose offerings are in a similar range.  Whatever their donations are, is what you should eventually be able to ask without much trouble.

Second thing:  Ignore any advice from hobbyists, especially of the unsolicited sort.  There are good hobbyists out there who will school you on the business with the best of intentions, hoping only for your success.  If you’re new enough to be uncertain about your donation, you are too new to know these guys from the cuntrags.    Yes, I’m sure he seems all nice and sweet.  Don’t argue.  There are guys out there who make a specialty of finding new, impressionable girls and exploiting them until the girl wises up or runs away in tears as far from the hobby world as she can get.  And to newbies, they look and sound just like the good guys.

Just stay away from all male advice until you’ve learned the basics.  You will thank me later.

So.  You’re not taking suggestions from the men, and you know about what similar ladies in your area are asking for donations.  Now, take that figure and drop it by ten percent.

You’re arguing again, I can hear it from here.  “But Mamasan, I’m new and fresh and these guys’d better recognize-”

Doesn’t work like that, sweets.  You’re new and fresh, sure, and stated another way you’re inexperienced and unproven.  No one knows you, you have no skin in the game, the hobbyists haven’t a clue what you’re like.  Are you a flake?  Dunno.  Are you on crack?  They don’t know.  Are you even any good at this?  Not a damned clue. 

From a hobbyist’s perspective, he’s got several hundred dollars.  It can either go to you, a potential waste of hard-earned cash for no benefit but some consoling pats on the back after he takes one for the team, or the same amount of cash can go to a lady he’s already seen and knows will give good value.   

Most guys won’t even hesitate.  They’ll see the lady who has already proven herself, and leave you to possibly sucker some other guy.  Getting into the game means giving them a good reason to run the risk of TOFTT.  Best way to do this is to offer comparable appeal and menu for ten percent less.

Relax.  It’s temporary.  Give yourself three to six months at the “new girl” rate.  After you’ve got a rookie-level client base built up and a review or five, or at least some decent word of mouth, move your donation back to what the other ladies are asking.  Grandfather some of your best guys, and close your ears to any bitching that comes down the pipe about Golden Pussy Syndrome.  Most of the crybabies weren’t guys you were seeing anyway, and those men wouldn’t be happy until you started $60 FS + Greek.

What’s Golden Pussy Syndrome?  It usually sounds like this, “She thinks her pussy is made of gold, such a shame, sure hope her 401k is real damn healthy because she’ll get no business now with an attitude like that, back in the day she used to know how to work in this business but now that she’s gotten all uppity…”  Whine, whine, whine.  If you hear this from gents you’ve actually seen BCD more than once, you’ve got a problem.  Otherwise, in one ear and out the other.  Most of it comes from message board posters who weren’t your target client base, and never will be.

The donation schedule should be reviewed periodically to decide whether it is still appropriate.  The simple rule is, if you aren’t getting enough appointments then you need to either up your level of service or lower your rates.  If you’re beating them off with a stick, raise your rates.  Small, cautious rate changes to offset inflation are fine but watch carefully and be ready to go back to your usual donation if business appears slim.

Multi-hours, overnights and trips.  Plan ahead – most new girls establish hourly rates and then are taken by surprise when a guy asks for more time, and aren’t sure what to tell him.

Incall is expected to be on your dime.  That’s called overhead, sweetheart.  All businesses have overhead, and (surprise!) you’re running a business.  Net profits are what you have left over after you’ve paid your business expenses.  THAT is what you live your personal life on.  Budget accordingly.

It is SOP for the hourly rate to cover usual overheads in your immediate area.  If a gent requests a specific location which is not near to you – your incall is in downtown San Antonio and he wants you to drive to Kerrville – it’s normal and even expected to ask for a surcharge to cover additonal expenses and time.  $50 or so is fine.  If he wants you to drive from downtown San Antonio to Kingsville, he should expect to pay an appropriately higher surcharge.   

At some point in your new career, you may become the flavor of the month.  Do not let this go to your head and start charging twenty percent more than anyone else.  It’s temporary lemming behavior and will go away, and then won’t YOU look like a jackass.  Just continue to ride the wave at your usual donation and make sure to provide quality service to properly screened gents.  If, weeks and weeks later, you are still inundated with requests for sessions, go ahead and raise the donation at that point.  You’ll have earned it, not by being the newest fad but by becoming a justifiably popular, proven lady.  Congrats, you’re in the big time now, baby.

A few final tips. 

Never discuss rates and menu.  You have ads and websites for all they need to know about the donation.  For preference, never discuss your menu at all. 

Donation does not equal class.  $800 with two-hour minimums cannot buy dignity, and neither can $100 B&G take it away.  Class is who you are, not how much you make.  Now go out there and prove it.

Say it with me, ladies – “I do not negotiate”.  There’s always some joker who thinks he’s such a special snowflake that he deserves a better deal than what you give to all the lovely gents who’ve taken the time to establish a regular client relationship.  DNS the fucker and move on.

There is nothing nw under the sun.  We have all seen this one, in its many variations, and it invatiably starts with “I’ve got a great idea”.  The gist is:

A client would like to go on vacation, and he would like to take a lovely working companion with him.  Maybe to the Caymans, maybe on a cruise, perhaps to Rome.  But, you see, since the client will be paying so very much for the lady companion’s airfare, lodging, meals and expenses, he must insist upon a discount for her time.  Anything “free” or slightly higher will do.  This is, of course, pefectly logical seeing as she is getting a free vacation .  Right?

Gentlemen.  Let us be honest, one with the other.  There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you are not offering one now (although you are expecting one).  In truth, you are asking a lady to spend a week working for you.  A week in which she will be expected to provide her time and attention, devoted solely to you, in whatever measure you determine is “owed” to you.  Be frank; were this lady to spend her vacation lounging by the pool, seeing the nightlife, enjoying the fine cuisine or simply reading a book, as is her wont, with or without you by her side you would be mightily offended.  And why?  Because she is acting as if she is on vacation.  You expect her to work.  For a week.  With nothing to show for it but a tan she got whenever you decided she could have time to herself.

If you are flush and generous enough to send a lady on vacation without expectations, you’re a lovely soul and we all applaud your good nature.  When you want a lady to work for you, you must pay.  If you insist the lady do the work in Vegas then how she gets there is your problem, not hers.  She doesn’t owe you merely because you picked the venue.